Sometimes my anxiety and depression gets the best of me and I start feeling very overwhelmed. When I think about how much my life will change by adding another life to our mix (that I created!) I get to feeling like it might be too much to handle. On top of all that future possibility is the reality that I’m already dealing with the stress of losing some very dear family members quite recently. Life can be so tough and yet so full of promise and possibility.
Hi there! Happy Hump Day to you! Today I’m sharing with you one of my favorite Matt Maher songs. I especially love this acoustic version.
Sometimes I feel like I just can’t ever “get it right” and that I’ll never be “good enough” and then this song reminds me that it’s not about being good but about God’s goodness and mercy. He loves me no matter what. He wants me to do good things for him but when I fall short (and I always will) He reminds me that nothing can separate me from His love.
I hope this song touches you today and gives you encouragement to see out the end of the week. Friday is coming! 🙂
by Matt Maher
“Great is Your faithfulness, oh God
You wrestle with the sinner’s restless heart
You lead us by still waters and to mercy
And nothing can keep us apart”
Many will mark this holiday as the start of the summer season and partake in a beach vacation or backyard barbecue but for many this holiday hits far too close to home. They will visit cemeteries and memorials and place flags on graves and sing songs of remembrance. While Veterans Day honors all who have served, Memorial Day honors all who have died, all who have died to give us the freedom we take for granted each and every day.
This Memorial Day let us take time out, between the food and the celebration and the fireworks, to remember those who have paid the ultimate price. Let us take a moment and say a little prayer for the families who are remembering those who are no longer with us as we enjoy the long weekend with our friends and loved ones. God bless us all.
Well. I figure I should catch you up on my life and unexplained absence. This year has been full of ups and downs and will go down as both one of the greatest and also the worst year of my life. I don’t even know where to begin.
First, we finished our kitchen renovation just before the new year and have spent this year rearranging and beautifying the space. We are really loving the makeover and spend a lot of time in that space.
Also, we adopted the most precious pup, Jethro, in April. He was born January 31 and he’s an apricot standard poodle. He has the best personality. He loves us fiercely. He’s definitely daddy’s boy. He’s a protector and a love bug. He will bark loudly when he wants to warn us of “danger” but then will spend all afternoon spooning on the couch. We couldn’t ask for a better addition to our family.
We built a shed for our backyard in the heat (and rain) of the summer. From scratch. I’m not kidding. Craig and I set the foundation, framed the walls, etc. It was a true labor of love. One day I hope to have a post on the process.
We went to Michigan to visit some good friends and went wine tasting around several wineries around Traverse City. Our favorite was Brys Estate. We highly recommend their Pinot Noir and my favorite was the Cab Franc. Then, in September, for Craig’s birthday, we went out to hike around the Olympic Peninsula. We did the Hoh River Trail and I lost 5 toenails from having terrible boots (didn’t know they were bad until about 10 miles in).
Finally, we had some tragedy hit our family. My biological father passed away suddenly at the beginning of September. In the span of dinner with friends he had stopped breathing, entered the hospital, and then passed away. The doctors tell us it was a pulmonary embolism. It was very sudden and although he was not in good health none of us expected him to be gone so soon. It is especially hard on his parents, my loving grandparents, who in their early 80s have lost a child.
In addition, my step-father (and the man who raised me with my mother since I was 5 years of age) passed away suddenly on Halloween night. Again, a sudden and tragic and unexpected loss. Norman was in the backyard with friends when he just collapsed and was alive no longer. We did not have a chance to say goodbye. My sisters and I are finding the adjustment to life without him rather difficult. My mother is having the most difficult time of all, as one can imagine.
Life is both wonderful and terrible right now. Every day I feel conflicting emotions. It still doesn’t seem real and yet it is. How can this be real life? How are we to manage it all? This holiday season is both a blessing and a yet reminder of our loss. I pray everyday for my mommy and for my sisters that we are somehow able to continue moving forward while keeping his memory alive. It is very hard.
So, that’s where I am right now. That’s what’s been happening with me and mine. I have more to say. More stories to share. But for now, I will wish you seasons greetings of love and happiness and great blessing upon your life. Hold your loved ones close tonight. I pray that you remember to cherish every moment you are given on this earth.
I’m hoping to really dive back into posting here on this blog. I like the journal aspect and since Craig and I are looking to try and get pregnant in 2015 I feel like this will be a good way to document the journey. I’d love for y’all to continue to follow along. Thanks for your support.
Observed on the 10th of October each year, World Mental Health Day was established to raise awareness of mental health issues around the world with the goal of mobilizing efforts in support of mental health.
The struggle is real. For me, this struggle exists each and every day. Most of the time I’m pretty “normal” in fact, most people have no idea that I’ve suffered from crippling depression in the past or that I deal with anxiety daily. Unfortunately as good as I am at “managing” my thoughts and behavior there are times that I lose control. I break down. I lose the ability to think rationally. Most often I cry. Sometimes I get angry and mean and say things that are hurtful to others. The hardest part about dealing with my “faulty” brain is that other people do not understand, cannot empathize, and have unrealistic expectations.
I do the best that I can. For me, this is drug-free. I have found that the episodes I have are few and far between and thus I have chosen to deal with them individually instead of maintaining a medicine regimen. For others, this means they are taking mind-altering medication on a daily basis. A well known blogger, Heather Armstrong, has written about her struggles (and depression in general) quite often.
What I want you to know is that my struggles with mental health are not uncommon and they are not something for me or anyone else to be ashamed of… we, as a nation, as a global force, need to do more to raise awareness of mental health issues and must do more to get the help out there where it’s needed.
The issues that seem to be most relevant lately deal with mass shootings and the growing homeless population. Both of these issues are rooted in the lack of readily available mental health services and support. I know that many people claim that gun violence can be curbed by outlawing guns but that simply is not the case. Look at the drug culture here in America. The “war on drugs” has done nothing to stop people from choosing to partake in hard substances. Approximately 20-25% of our homeless suffer from mental illness and although there is no direct correlation between those who commit mass shootings and mental health issues we know that the majority have been labeled as “loners” and had some kind of “psychosocial problem”.
The bottom line is that mental health is a real issue with real consequences and we do little in this country to help. Most insurance will only cover 60% of the expenses related to mental health care and it is not treated the same as other medical issues such as a broken bone or even migraines. The out of pocket expense for true expansive coverage of mental health is too much for the average person and far too much for those who need it most.