What! What?

So, hey y’all, hey!

Um, yeah, I kinda found out I was pregnant and dropped off the face of the earth.

Sorry about that!

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Aug 2, 2015 marked 9 years since I had started blogging. NINE YEARS! I found out the news my grandfather had passed away the day that I found out I was pregnant. Which was barely over a year since I had lost both my step-father and my biological father (a month apart). It all seemed rather overwhelming and I couldn’t find the words I wanted to say. I had so much to say and yet nothing would come out.

:::Flash Forward:::

I’m now going on my twelfth year of blogging sporadically and I am almost at two years past the birth of my son. I’m feeling like sharing again so I reactivated this account and hooked it up to Instagram (which I’m participating in far more often) and Facebook (which just serves to piss me off on a daily basis but I can’t seem to quit) and here I am today.

The impetus for the blog renewal has to do with my son, actually. Last night we were outside in the backyard and he walked over and handed me a piece of dog poop. Yes, you read that correctly. GROSS! So, after telling him, NO, poop is gross, we don’t touch poop, and then a wash of the hands, he did it AGAIN! YUCK. NO.

The story is much funnier in person so I decided to create an Instagram Story. Then, someone asked if I could make it public so others could see and I didn’t feel comfortable with my entire account being public so I activated my Tin Cup Chalice account and now you’re all caught up! I hope to be more prolific with my writing and now that I have an almost two year old I have a feeling this will not be a very difficult task. Be sure to subscribe to my posts so you receive direct notice and be sure to follow me on Instagram and Facebook (and soon to come, YouTube).

Since most of you readers are my friends I’ll take a moment to say thank you for sticking by me and for keeping up with my life and for humoring me with your attention to my crazy stories. Love y’all! Mean it!

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Thoughts on Grandparents

Grandparents are special to us in ways that parents can never be… my grandparents always made sure that I had pancakes each morning we were together (if that’s what I wanted). They made sure that I had lots of fun and they didn’t worry too much about discipline. After all, they got to return me after a while and it wasn’t their job to worry about the consequences. This was the best part about being a grandchild, the unconditional love and acceptance no matter what.

Well, last week my beloved grandfather passed away. My grandfather, Martin, and grandmother, Dorothy, had been married for almost 65 years. My poor grandpa had such terrible health issues his last few years here on earth and I know he’s happy to be rid of his aging and decrepit body. I know that it’s hard for my grandma to imagine her life without her other half. Thankfully the doctor says her health is great but I know that this stress is a lot for her.

Today I pray for my grandma, my aunt, my uncle, and all who are dealing with the death of my grandpa. Life is difficult and beautiful at once. We mourn the loss of one and the future of another. Martin was a hardworking man who loved his bride so very much. Their example of Christian fidelity has served as an inspiration for me all my life. My grandmother is a strong woman with a good church family and I know she will make it through this but it doesn’t make it any easier to say goodbye.

Love you so much, grandpa.

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A Working Mom (Outside The Home)

So, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the whole work-life balance and the idea that working outside the home can actually be a good thing for me and my future offspring. I read an article recently about children from households where the mother worked outside the home (no matter the total hours) and the impact that has on their future.

Women whose moms worked outside the home are more likely to have jobs themselves, are more likely to hold supervisory responsibility at those jobs, and earn higher wages than women whose mothers stayed home full time, according to research by Kathleen McGinn and colleagues.

This is encouraging news! I believe that showing children that women can be successful outside the home helps them believe that they, too, can be successful outside the home. Not to say that being a SAHM is a bad thing, just that women who work outside the home shouldn’t feel like they are doing their children a disservice.

“In a new study of 50,000 adults in 25 countries, daughters of working mothers completed more years of education, were more likely to be employed and in supervisory roles and earned higher incomes. Having a working mother didn’t influence the careers of sons, which researchers said was unsurprising because men were generally expected to work — but sons of working mothers did spend more time on child care and housework.” (NY Times)

This new study is part of a shift away from focusing on whether working mothers put their children at a disadvantage and toward a richer understanding of the relationship between work and family. I especially like the note about how sons of working mothers took on greater responsibilities around the home. This demonstrates that so much of how we are as adults is shaped by our experiences as children. Children who grow up with a father who takes a more active role in the child-rearing and housework influence their children by modeling more egalitarian behavior.

“There’s a lot of parental guilt about having both parents working outside the home,” McGinn says. “But what this research says to us is that not only are you helping your family economically—and helping yourself professionally and emotionally if you have a job you love—but you’re also helping your kids. So I think for both mothers and for fathers, working both inside and outside the home gives your kids a signal that contributions at home and at work are equally valuable, for both men and women. In short, it’s good for your kids.”

My mother both worked full-time when I was little and was a SAHM for a season when my sisters were born. She went back to work full-time when my sisters were in Elementary School. My step-father never took an active role around the house (unless you include repairs and outside work) and I vividly remember my mother being solely responsible for many of the domestic chores.

Craig is the main cook in our house and he’s very good about taking out the trash and doing home maintenance. I tend to be the one who does the dishes, and laundry, and indoor cleaning. I feel like we split our duties rather evenly. So, I’d love to know about you! Did you have a mom who worked outside the home? Did you have a father who took a more active role in the housework? How are your duties now as an adult? Please share! 🙂

Decoration Day

In remembrance…

This weekend, Monday to be specific, we will celebrate Memorial Day. This federal holiday formerly known as Decoration Day, which is observed on the last Monday in May, is for remembering those who have died while serving in the United States Armed Forces. This holiday began after the Civil War to remember the soldiers who fought so bravely and paid the ultimate sacrifice for our union. Eventually, this holiday began to honor all those who fought and died while in military service.

Many will mark this holiday as the start of the summer season and partake in a beach vacation or backyard barbecue but for many this holiday hits far too close to home. They will visit cemeteries and memorials and place flags on graves and sing songs of remembrance. While Veterans Day honors all who have served, Memorial Day honors all who have died, all who have died to give us the freedom we take for granted each and every day.

This Memorial Day let us take time out, between the food and the celebration and the fireworks, to remember those who have paid the ultimate price. Let us take a moment and say a little prayer for the families who are remembering those who are no longer with us as we enjoy the long weekend with our friends and loved ones. God bless us all.


 

Bivouac Of The Dead
By Theodore O’Hara

The muffled drum’s sad roll has beat
The soldier’s last tattoo;
No more on Life’s parade shall meet
That brave and fallen few.
On fame’s eternal camping ground
Their silent tents to spread,
And glory guards, with solemn round
The bivouac of the dead…

The Happy Housewife?

So, remember when I was talking about trying to get pregnant this year? Yeah, so, one of the things that I struggle with is the desire to be a SAHM. I feel like the best person to spend day-in and day-out with my future child is myself. I have half a graduate degree dedicated to early-childhood education and I feel like no one else could do a better job than myself.

BUT… Could I really hack it as a stay at home mom? Would I be a “happy housewife” if given the opportunity? I can barely keep up after myself, let alone my husband and dog, add another human to the mix and I’m just not sure. I’ve mentioned before that my husband is a former chef and he does most (read: all) the cooking. I’ve tried to take a more active role but I just suck at it and it’s not fun for me but I know that once this baby comes I’m going to have to step up.

I even tried Blue Apron (total fail… that’s a post for another time) and it kinda helped out but mostly just reminded me of how bad I suck at cooking. I’m not creative in the kitchen and I have no idea about flavor profiles and, well, any of the “rules”… I once used red wine instead of white wine in a dish because that’s what we had on hand and didn’t know that was not going to work.

I definitely didn’t get the training my husband did. My mother is really good at frozen vegetables and plain chicken. We ate a lot of meatloaf and mashed potatoes growing up. In her defense my step-father had a terribly picky palate. I also didn’t get any cooking skills from my biological father’s side of the family. I mean, let’s be honest, my grandmother makes Jell-O salads with her dinners and considers them a legitimate side dish. Lettuce on the plate cafeteria style and all. It was what you did in the 50s and besides, my grandpa loves it.

A recent study shows that working moms have healthier, more successful kids (Psychology Today). I believe this is because many people over-parent and do more harm than good. Working outside the home will keep my brain engaged in higher-level thinking and will keep me from getting over-invested in my child’s well-being. I know that I tend to be a smother-er with my affection (ask Craig) and I would hate to over-do it with my child.

So, I’ve started looking into high-quality day-care facilities in the area and really preparing myself for the reality of being a mom who works outside the home. My working mom friends talk endlessly about the “juggle” you maintain when there aren’t enough hours in the day. Thankfully I have a great job with a lot of flexibility. I am grateful for the ability to get away as needed and I think that will help. Overall I’m excited about the future. Having a full-time job will keep us in a position financially to travel often and to expose our child to the great wonders of the world and that’s a good thing.

 

So, what about you? What are your thoughts on the subject? Any SAHM’s out there? WAHM‘s? Full-time workers? How do you maintain a balance? Help me out here… I want your advice!

P.S. Here’s an interesting take (Being a Stay-at-Home Mom is not a Job). I tend to agree with this article. I mean, as a full-time worker outside the home I will still have to find time to cook and clean and maintain the home but I’ll also be gone for the majority of the day. Thoughts?