Well, it happened. I finally hit my breaking point yesterday and had the worst anxiety attack I’ve had in quite some time. My last post should have been my clue that I was starting to spiral downward but I didn’t do enough to halt the anxiety from spiraling out of control. A combination of some major stressors at work along with this housing purchase battle financing nightmare was just too much for me to handle.
Normally I know my triggers well and I’m able to make changes necessary to keep myself on the right track but I didn’t this time. The good news is that I made it through my work day. Pushed through the feeling of being unable to breathe and on the verge of tears and made it home to some good counsel from my fantastic husband.
I have such a hard time managing stress. The worst part is that I know what I should be doing and yet I find myself unable to motivate myself to do the things that keep me mentally stable. UGH. So, I’m focusing on “the good” and doing my breathing exercises and trying my best to not freak out about uncertainties. I’m going to get back into a more aggressive exercise routine as I know that’s one of the biggest things that helps me.
It’s very difficult to manage at times and then other times I do so well. I have made the conscious choice to focus on alternative management methods rather than remain on a pharmaceutical cocktail. Last night Craig and I discussed the possibility of going back on drug therapy but I think that once I get back into the things I know work well to manage my symptoms I think I’ll be okay. However, should things not improve I’m completely open to the idea.
I’m afraid that I might have shared a bit too personally on this blog as of late but I appreciate you being my sounding board and a passive source of accountability. If you don’t know much about Generalized Anxiety / Depression Disorders I encourage you to look up information online. You’d be surprised how many people you know suffer silently. Thankfully I have a good support system and I am able to quickly bounce back from these minor setbacks.
So, here’s to new beginnings! I’m thankful for each new day and the hope that it brings. Life is good y’all. I don’t doubt that. I wish I didn’t worry so much but it’s okay. It’s all going to be okay. No matter what. I hope to be back to “normal” and more regular posting next week. Until then, God bless!