rejection

Rejection. According to the Oxford English Dictionary it is defined as “The action or process of rejecting someone or something, esp. the refusal to accept an established practice, a proposal, etc., or the rejecting or exclusion of a person from a relationship or group; an act of rejecting; (also) the state of being rejected.

RejectOED defines this as “Someone who is rejected or cast out.

The act of rejection causes someone to feel like a reject. Have you ever been called a reject? No one has ever said that to my face but I have seen people say it to others. It’s not pleasant. No one ever wants to feel rejected. No one wants to feel that they aren’t worthy, that someone doesn’t want them to be a part of their group, that someone doesn’t feel they are qualified enough for their dream job, or that someone doesn’t think their work is good enough.

I have learned not to associate rejection with my self-worth but it is a constant battle. I am a person that derives much of my self-worth from the opinions of others. I know that this is an issue. I have to remind myself that my self-worth is an intrinsic value. My self-worth is defined within and through the grace of God alone.

Last night I was thinking seriously about my feelings of rejection. Why must I fret over what someone else thinks of me? Why must I play the scene out over and over again in my mind of what I could have done to change their mind? It is not necessarily what I could or could not have done to make things different as much as it is that person’s individual feelings and perception on the issue.

I, myself, have participated in the act of rejection. It is hard to tell someone that you do not “want” them, whether as a friend or as a lover. Either you are on the giving or receiving end… and both are difficult.

Each year that passes brings with it new wisdom. I’m definitely not the person I was 10 years ago, or even 5 years ago, or even just last month. We grow, adapt, learn, move on. Life isn’t easy but we make the best of it. I have grown to accept what God has given to me, I’ve adapted to the constant changing of the world around me, learned to make the best of every situation, and have gained the wisdom to move on when the situation warrants it as such.

I was reminded by a dear friend of Philippians 4:11-13 ♥ 11I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

I cannot say that I have completely learned to be content whatever the circumstances, but I am sure trying. I do know what it is to want and what it is to have everything you could have ever wanted. The secret, to me, of being content is what my mother has constantly preached: bloom where planted.

Make the best of every situation and play the cards you are dealt. I understand that there is a bigger picture, one that I cannot see because I am within the picture. Only someone outside of the picture can truly see what is going on and the painter holds the wisdom to know what the outcome may be. Everything happens for a reason, even if I am not able to see that reason just yet. Thoughts?

Ob-la-di, ob-la-da, life goes on…

DISCLAIMER: These are just random thoughts. I’m doing fine, thanks. Please don’t look at this as depressing but instead as truthful. I only seek to share my thoughts and to be honest with y’all. Okay? Good. 🙂

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4 thoughts on “rejection

  1. You are inherently worthy, love!! No matter what anyone says or does, you are a worthwhile person!! I have the same problem with basing too much of my self-worth on what others think of me. It’s a poisonous way to think and I struggle with it often. I am also working on blooming where I’m planted. So funny you said that. My good motherly friend up here is always giving me that wonderful (but difficult) advice. Come visit us in DC!

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words! Now that I’m moving I’ll have more discretionary income and will hopefully be able to travel… and you know I’d love to visit y’all! Much love to you both! 🙂

  2. I’m another one that’s guilty of putting too much weight in what other people think of me. What’s crazy is sometimes there is someone in my life who I *know* is not the best for me, and even if I was already thinking it was time to go our separate ways, if they reject me I am HURT. And I analyze. But what does it matter if they don’t value what’s wonderful in me, if I also don’t value what’s wonderful in them? Why can’t we just go our separate ways without either of us feeling rejected? Long rambling way of saying I feel the same 🙂

    As for things happening for a reason, I know it’s hard to believe this when you’re in the middle of it, but I really do think the bigger picture becomes clearer in time, and you can become grateful for the way things turned out even though at the time you thought it was awful planning.

    1. Yes, I’m really trying to focus on the fact that there is a bigger plan at work and I need to be patient and content where I am right now. Thanks for your encouraging words. 🙂

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