Category Archives: eHarmony

I said YES

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I know that I’ve been absent from this here blog. I’m not the best at sticking with this thing. I’ve felt like I thought I had things to say but then real life got in the way. I really need to just make time to do this. I enjoy writing and sharing my  story with y’all so I’m going to make a better effort. Besides I need some place I can share all my thoughts about this impending wedding.

SO EXCITING.

I really wondered at times if it would ever happen for me. I wondered if I was going to find the right person that I really enjoyed being with and who enjoyed being with me. I will say that, in my case, eHarmony actually worked. It really was a great vessel to introduce me to Craig and I’m so thankful that Jeannie talked me into giving it a try.

Craig and I really enjoy each other’s company. We ride bikes and take walks on the beach. We have great conversations. We watch the news and debate the issues. We make time every Sunday evening for Downton Abbey. We go to church and are currently doing a bible study every night to help us set this marriage off on the right track.

We’re very blessed.

-Caron

Yesterday Today Tomorrow

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Today I went in and cancelled my eHarmony account. Hard to believe it’s only been 3 short months and that things have turned out the way they have. Hard to believe that the site actually worked the way it promises. Hard to believe that I really truly am this freakin happy.

Yet, here I am.

Craig and I have been having some serious conversations lately. We’ve been spending about 4 out of the 7 days a week together. He seeks out time to spend with me. He has given me a drawer. He wants me around. A lot. More importantly, I want to be around him. A lot.

Y’all… I really am the happiest I’ve ever been. It’s super weird. Most of the time I don’t really know what to do with myself and all that I am feeling. It’s kinda scary. Like, all those times before when I thought I was happy. I had no freakin clue what happiness really was.

THIS is happiness.

I can’t imagine not having Craig in my life. I like being with him. I like the conversations/discussions/debates we have. I like when we both just sit and read and that we don’t have to constantly entertain each other. I like cuddling with him on the couch while we watch a movie. I like riding bikes with him up and down 1st street. I like sitting on his porch and watching the waves crash on the ocean.

I love how he kisses me so very sweetly and sincerely and so very often. He never misses a moment to kiss me. I’m in the kitchen grabbing a glass of water and he walks by and kisses me. I’m in the bathroom brushing my teeth and he comes over and kisses me. I’m reading a book on the couch and he’s working in the office and randomly he’ll just come out and walk over and give me a kiss and then go back to work.

Last night he came with me to church. As we were walking out he put his hand on my shoulder. He likes to hold on to me and I love that about him. When we’re in the car he reaches over and grabs my hand. When we’re walking on the beach he is holding my hand. When we’re walking from the car to the restaurant he even grabs my hand.

I love it.

He talks a lot about our future. He uses the terms “us” and “our” regularly. He genuinely wants me in his life for better or worse till death do us part and that makes me very happy because I feel the same. I just keep thinking about everything I’ve been through in my life. How I really thought, at times, that I was truly happy but I really didn’t know what happiness really was. We’re very comfortable. We have tough discussions. We talk about the future. We work out our differences. We are a team.

So, this is the big update that’s taken me a while to write. I know that I haven’t posted as much as I had planned. I really was going to document more about the whole eHarmony thing but it really ended up much simpler and wasn’t as drawn out as I expected.

This is a good thing.

I can honestly say that they know what they are doing. It feels a little weird to answer the question of how we met… but in this era, online matchmaking is gaining momentum. I mean, think about it, in the past our communities were much more tight-knit. We had someone in our life that was more than willing to introduce us to someone interesting. We had social circles and much more free-time and different chances to meet people. In addition, most people got married before they began their careers either to their High School or College sweetheart.

Today, we are working more and taking our time to really be sure that we’re making a solid decision that will last a life time. I can’t tell you how many people I know who have been divorced. In America, we have nearly a 50/50 chance that a marriage will end in divorce. Craig and I have talked extensively about how we feel regarding that subject. Both of us have divorced parents. We’ve seen first hand what that means and we want to be sure that the person we marry is the person we spend the rest of our life with. End. Of. Story.

So, we’re definitely taking this relationship seriously and trying our best to lay a solid foundation. I ask that you continue to pray for us. That our relationship is strengthened and that we continue to make our relationship with Christ our number one priority because that is what will sustain us for the long-term.

Thanks so much for following along in this journey and I look forward to sharing the many more adventures that lie ahead. God bless y’all. :-)

My lumberjack

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Craig is a muscular man. He takes good care of himself and it shows. He’s not overly done in a macho-man sort of way but I appreciate that he could save me from a burning building. Sometimes, I liken him to a lumberjack of sorts. He’s quite manly and outdoorsy and I like that about him. Then sometimes I hear this song in my head…

.
I wanted to be… a lumberjack! Leaping from tree to tree, as they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia. The Giant Redwood. The Larch. The Fir! The mighty Scots Pine! The lofty flowering Cherry! The plucky little Apsen! The limping Roo tree of Nigeria. The towering Wattle of Aldershot! The Maidenhead Weeping Water Plant! The naughty Leicestershire Flashing Oak! The flatulent Elm of West Ruislip! The Quercus Maximus Bamber Gascoigni! The Epigillus! The Barter Hughius Greenus!
With my best gal by my side, we’d sing! Sing! Sing!
 
[singing]
I’m a lumberjack, and I’m okay.
I sleep all night and I work all day.
.

LOVE that sketch… though I must admit, even though that song comes to mind whenever someone mentions the word “lumberjack,” I know for certain that my lumberjack isn’t a cross-dresser. LOL

Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie

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YAY! I finally made it through the communication hoops in eHarmony and spoke with Craig on the phone this weekend. It was what I hoped it would be. He’s quite intelligent. He’s probably the first man I’ve been in communication with in a long time that can hold his own and who I actually feel a little intimidated by. I find myself wondering if I’ll be able to keep up with him and I LOVE IT. Plus, his voice was sweet and sexy on the phone. I’m especially impressed at how slow moving he is toward this whole thing. I’m glad that we’re just talking and getting to know each other first.

I must mention, however, when I got off the phone … this song is what was playing in my head. LOL. How funny. I’m trying very hard to keep myself level-headed about this whole thing but I did think it was humorous that ABBA popped into my thoughts like it did. I know that there are a lot of frogs before you find your prince and I know better than to get too excited so early in the game but I just thought you’d enjoy this bit of news. We’ll talk again this week and he asked me if I would be interested in meeting up this coming weekend so I’ll keep y’all posted.

Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!

Half past twelve
And I’m watching the late show in my flat all alone
How I hate to spend the evening on my own
Autumn winds
Blowing outside my window as I look around the room
And it makes me so depressed to see the gloom
There’s not a soul out there
No one to hear my prayer

Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight
Won’t somebody help me chase the shadows away
Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight
Take me through the darkness to the break of the day

Movie stars
Find the end of the rainbow, with a fortune to win
It’s so different from the world I’m living in
Tired of T.V.
I open the window and I gaze into the night
But there’s nothing there to see, no one in sight
There’s not a soul out there
No one to hear my prayer

Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight
Won’t somebody help me chase the shadows away
Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight
Take me through the darkness to the break of the day

Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight…
Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight…

There’s not a soul out there
No one to hear my prayer

Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight
Won’t somebody help me chase the shadows away
Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight
Take me through the darkness to the break of the day
Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight
Won’t somebody help me chase the shadows away
Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight
Take me through the darkness to the break of the day

Keep on Dancing it’s a Sunshine Day

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For you:

So, the guy I was talking to on eHarmony met up with me for breakfast last weekend. Yeah, not so much. However, there is someone else I’ve been talking to and it seems to be going well. His name is Craig. He’s very interesting and we have great conversation. He’s quite intelligent and I find that to be a major plus. In fact, sometimes I feel like I might not be able to keep up. This would probably be the first time I’ve dated someone smarter than myself and it’s thrilling. Not that I’m the smartest person out there but it’s amazing how many men I’ve dated that don’t read and have no idea what’s going on in the world outside Gator football or what the waves are going to be like this weekend. It’s a refreshing change.

As you know, I’ve been doing the C25K and so far so good. Ran again last night and did surprisingly well. This weekend I’m planning on hitting the pool on Saturday morning and then doing some stuff around the house. I still have to get all the stuff out of the guest room and take apart the bed. My friend, Bethie, is going to buy it off me so that’s a relief! Lizzie is going to move in some boxes this weekend and probably be fully moved in within the next two weeks so I have to get my stuff in order. I’m having lunch with my friend, Wendy, on Sunday and I’m excited to see her. It’s been weeks since we’ve hung out! Next week starts my busy season here at work and I’ll be quite swamped. Between the long days at work and the million things I have coming up on the weekends I probably won’t really have good down time until September. It’s all good, though. My friend, Stacey, is getting married at the end of the month and I couldn’t be more excited for her! Hope that y’all have a wonderful weekend.

Keep on dancing y’all… it’s a sunshine day! :)

Open Communication (and some updates)

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So, here it is folks, I actually made it to the final stage within eHarmony. This guy, Nick, evidently thinks I’m interesting enough to continue past the question and answer to the open email portion. FUN.

We seem to have a lot in common. He lives locally, which is interesting. He’s a “software engineer” which kinda scares me because all I can think is that he works in a call center help desk. LOL. I know that sounds harsh of me. No, really though, he seems like a pretty cool guy. We’re just starting the open communication stage but even through the guided communication I appreciated his answers better than most. He uses proper grammar which is a major plus. Also, he only mentioned video games like once through the whole thing.

Other than that, I’ve been pretty busy. Trying to work on finishing up some summer reading. I read In The Woods by Tana French and was not impressed. I had high hopes for that book and was sadly disappointed. I also read Sweetwater Creek by Anne Rivers Siddons and was equally not impressed. Although, I did get a chance finally to read Love Wins by Rob Bell and I absolutely LOVED IT.

I know that there has been a lot of hype over his book. My pastor even had the gall to tell folks NOT to read it. I hate it when people do that. Like my brain isn’t sophisticated enough to understand what Rob Bell is saying and I can’t be trusted to make up my own mind about the subject so I should just stay away from it. AWFUL. That’s the same as saying to people that they need to refrain from all alcohol because, well, they couldn’t possibly be trusted to handle their alcohol without acting like a fool. Pitiful. SO, I’m really glad I bought it and read it and although some of it is a little too vague and he should have worked better to clarify some points overall I really think it was right on mark, as usual.

In addition to reading Love Wins, I finally went and read his book, Velvet Elvis. I truly enjoyed that book, although I know that Rob is really preaching to the choir. It really puts everything I’ve thought onto paper and in a way that helps me to explain it to others and for that I am eternally grateful.

This past weekend I spent some much needed time at the beach getting my healthy dose of Vitamin D (read this article) and I went to a friend’s party and had a great time. We even had the cops called on us. Which is hilarious because of a few things: she’s a Crime Scene Investigator with the Sheriff’s office, it was only 10:30 pm, and none of us were drunk. We were playing corn-hole outside and I think that the bags were hitting the boards too loudly for some neighbors. Too funny! I can’t tell you the last time I was at a party where the cops were called. We’re such hooligans. LOL.

Anyway, I truly hope that y’all are doing well. It’s hotter than Hades as I know it is all over this great country. I hope that y’all are staying in the a/c as much as possible and/or visiting some watering hole and staying hydrated (read this article). The only thing we have that saves us here in Florida are the afternoon thunderstorms. Stay cool…

This junk ain’t easy

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Well, Mike closed the match. Could be several things. Plus, I’m sure that it’s easy enough to go a Google search with my first name and city to easily stumble across this blog. I’m sure that throughout the course of this experiment there will people who aren’t interested in being talked about online… but I’m not giving up. I am going to continue to write about this experience because it is what I set out to do and I enjoy it.

But this junk ain’t easy folks.

Online dating is just as frustrating as “real life” dating. This site has matched me with a total of three people I’d actually be interested in out of the 100 or so people they’ve sent me so far. I mean, I knew that this would be an issue when I got involved with eHarmony. I know that I’m going to find the same ratio within this dating pool as I would out in the “real world”. I also know that it’s only been a few weeks and I need to give it time.

So… I’m going to just enjoy the ride. I’m definitely learning more about myself as this goes on and that’s the most important part. Plus, it’s giving me something to focus on and I’m feeling less pressure to “get out there” right now. Just wanted to give y’all an update.

Hope all is well!

Communication Questions

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When someone chooses to communicate in eHarmony they can send you an icebreaker (as discussed before) or they can go right into the questions.

So far I’ve had a few people send me questions of which I’ve made the decision not to respond. Upon reading their profiles and looking at the pictures I knew right away that I wasn’t interested. I don’t want someone who mentions computer games five different times on their profile. I don’t want someone who is overweight. I don’t want someone who is in the ministry full-time. I DO want someone who has similar interests and I find physically attractive.

I already mentioned that I had been matched with someone I “knew” which was quite interesting. We got through all the introductory steps but he hasn’t started open communication (and it’s been over a week). I really would like to meet someone who has traveled and is interested in more than just the status quo and on that note I received a match today from a soldier. He’s an Army Optometrist (that’s super fun)! He’s a runner. He likes to be healthy. He’s seen a good bit of the world. He’s a Christian. He’s closer to my age. So, we’ll see. I do want to be sure and take my time with this though.

So, here are the questions he sent:

1. How important is chemistry to you?

A) I need to feel that instant “click”
B) Within the first couple of dates I need to sense a certain chemistry
C) I think chemistry can be generated over the long-term with someone I really like
D) I don’t believe chemistry is really important to a successful relationship
2. Which of the following quirks would bother you most about your partner?

A) Uses poor grammar
B) Tends to cling to you in social situations
C) Is not familiar with current events
D) Superstitious
3. Which sort of date sounds like the most fun to you?

A) Attend a lecture on a topic that appeals to both of you
B) Go bargain hunting at a local flea market or antique shop
C) Go bowling
D) Visit a local comedy club
4. How often do you find yourself laughing?

A) I crack myself up!
B) I try to laugh all the time and get serious only when it’s needed.
C) Most of my time is spent being serious but I like an occasional good laugh.
D) I’m generally a pretty serious person.
5. What are your body-type preferences for your mate?

A) Thin and very lean
B) Muscular and athletic
C) Average – height and weight proportionate
D) Larger than average

The first round of questions are ones that you can go through a list and select the five you want to send to the person. Of the ones he sent me I found that it was hard to select just one option. Also, I felt like some of the options given none of the responses were appropriate. What would you have selected?

I sent the following questions to Mike:
  1. If you were taken by your date to a party where you knew no one, how would you respond?
  2. Which of the following marriage issues do you fear most?
  3. What best describes your attitude toward work?
  4. Do you enjoy debating the issues of the day with your partner?
  5. What’s your philosophy on travel?

What do you think? What would your answers be? My sister sent me a great article about marriage written by Dr. Neil Clark Warren (the founder of eHarmony) that you should read. It’s very frank and discusses getting married without compatibility and being sure that you’re searching for your “forever person” and not just looking for a good time.

Hope y’all are having a good week!

Frogs

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So, we’re at the point where I have been with dating in general. There sure are a lot of frogs out there. Granted, I’m sure that some that I would call a frog would be someone’s prince… but, for me, I’m striking out. Too many weird looking blokes or weird sounding blokes with weird lives and weird hobbies.

I need someone who has things in common with me and who I find attractive. I have dated those that others thought were attractive but I did not and obviously that didn’t work out. I have to feel that interest. A few people have requested communication with me over the weekend but sadly I turned them all down.

I figure, I have 6 months of this so I have a right to be choosy. Especially since I am choosy in real-life. Why not stay true to my instincts? Oh goodness, I sound pathetic. I swear that I’m not as bad as I sound, in fact, I have dated several men that my friends just didn’t see me with and wondered what the hell I was doing but I really felt I was giving them a chance. I’ve learned the hard way that you should always go with your gut and if you’re not feeling it then don’t push it.

Anyway, I’m sad that I haven’t been matched overseas much. Two of the gentlemen that are overseas haven’t requested communication but it’s still early in the game. I really did like the one guy that is local but since he’s not communicating with me I’m trusting that God knows what is best and I’m letting that one go.

We’ll see… I’ll keep y’all posted.

It’s a small world after all…

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NO WAY.

I just got matched with someone I know in town. Well, technically it’s someone that knows people I know and I’ve seen his pictures on Facebook before. I remember thinking last year or so that I would love to meet him but then how do you broach that subject with your friends…

“So, um, there’s this guy, well, and I noticed him when looking through your pictures, and, well, um, he looks super cute and I noticed that he’s a Christian and he seems really down to earth and I wondered if you felt like you could, maybe, well, set us up somehow?”

Yeah. Not so much.

So, here I am over a year or so later and he’s in eHarmony? Strange. Very strange. Evidently they think that we’re compatible. AND, he sent me some communication questions.

Very interesting.

So, I’ll keep you posted.

P.S. does anyone else hear funny catchphrases when they say things out loud? Like when I said very interesting I heard “vellly inelllesting” from Laugh-In which is why I posted it above. Also, the other day I was saying good-bye and I immediately heard “buh-bye” from SNL when Helen Hunt and David Spade were the flight attendants. LOL. So, yeah, I do that sort of thing all the time.