So, is it Friday yet?

Ohmygoodness y’all!

On a different note, I have a funny/scary/lucky story to share with you:

On the way to work as I was driving up the on-ramp I noticed an unmarked police vehicle traveling alongside me. It was fairly obvious to me but since he was going pretty fast I figured I didn’t have too much to worry about. I stayed with traffic and (luckily) the rest of the folks in my lane weren’t going as fast as they normally do.

Further down the road the cop ended up in my lane a few cars behind me and I was about 6 cars behind the leader. We traveled a ways down the road when the road finally cleared up a bit and the leader of the “fast lane” moved over. All the cars passed this guy and slowly moved back into the right lane where they should be except this one BMW convertible that was directly in front of me who insisted on switching lanes in and out of traffic to get to the head of the pack.

At this point we’re all going close to 80 in a 60 so really none of us should have been pissed about there being so many cars in the left lane. My lane continued to thin out and the cop was directly behind me ON MY ASS and speed up to try and find an opening in the right lane to get out of his way because although I could tell he wasn’t itching to pull me over (even though I was going WELL over the speed limit) I knew that he was in a hurry to get somewhere. I moved over finally and he sped by me and then ended up on some other guy’s ass in the left lane ahead.

Suddenly he switches into the right lane and then left lane passing some cars (and he was driving rather reckless if I do say so myself) so I was wondering what the heck he was doing. I didn’t think he was on duty otherwise he seriously would have and probably should have pulled my ass over because I, along with everyone else on JTB, drive well over the posted 60 MPH speed-limit.

Anyway, I see the lights in his car turn to flashing just as the BMW switches to the far right lane which I’m guessing is because he noticed (finally) that the guy was a cop and tried to play it off like he wasn’t driving faster than he should but that cop totally pulled him over! That could have totally been ME. I was going quite fast when that cop was on my ass but then again I wasn’t swerving in and out of traffic and as soon as there was an opening I moved out of his way.

I think that when traffic started lightening up we were all still doing only about 10 over and the cop must have seen that BMW swerving in and out up ahead and then taking off going well over 80. I’m guessing that the reason he was riding my ass was to get me out of the way so he could go after that guy.

THANK GOODNESS.

All I could do was laugh out loud. For reals. I kept thinking, how am I so lucky that he chose to go after the BMW and not me? I still can hardly believe it. I have no idea what made him decide to go after the other guy instead of myself but I am eternally grateful. I probably could have gotten 20 over and charged with reckless driving. That would have meant 4 points on my license and a hefty fine.

What’s interesting about this whole thing is that this past weekend I got a parking fine for parking at Mickler’s in the bushes on the side of the road. There was NOT a no parking sign even though there was one on the other side of the road so I thought that I was in the clear. Evidently I was not. What really pissed me off about the parking ticket was that the cop drew a line through the pre-printed $30 and hand-wrote $40. ARGH.

Anyway, I have decided today that I will pay the $40 gladly because God saved me from a much higher ticket and points and horribleness. I am eternally grateful for that and although I don’t know if I can really curb my speeding because I’ve tried for years and no matter how many tickets I’ve received I still haven’t slowed down much (just gotten smarter… LOL) and really I’ve pressed my luck. So, I’m going to gladly pay my parking ticket and count my blessings.

Drive safe y’all!

Income Gap Between Rich, Poor the Widest Ever

Census Bureau Finds Record Income Equality; Richest 20% of Americans Earn Nearly Half of All Nation’s Income

(AP)  The income gap between the richest and poorest Americans grew last year to its widest amount on record as young adults and children in particular struggled to stay afloat in the recession.

The top-earning 20 percent of Americans – those making more than $100,000 each year – received 49.4 percent of all income generated in the U.S., compared with the 3.4 percent earned by those below the poverty line, according to newly released census figures. That ratio of 14.5-to-1 was an increase from 13.6 in 2008 and nearly double a low of 7.69 in 1968.

A different measure, the international Gini index, found U.S. income inequality at its highest level since the Census Bureau began tracking household income in 1967. The U.S. also has the greatest disparity among Western industrialized nations.

At the top, the wealthiest 5 percent of Americans, who earn more than $180,000, added slightly to their annual incomes last year, census data show. Families at the $50,000 median level slipped lower.

“Income inequality is rising, and if we took into account tax data, it would be even more,” said Timothy Smeeding, a University of Wisconsin-Madison professor who specializes in poverty. “More than other countries, we have a very unequal income distribution where compensation goes to the top in a winner-takes-all economy.”

Basically there are four key players: teachers, parents, students, and finally administration. Without all four players working together (and community involvement) we get nowhere.

First, you have teachers. Where is the motivation to go above and beyond? Intrinsic motivation (situated within) can only get you so far. You are paid the same whether you work in the ghetto or in a suburban middle class school. Also, you are paid the same whether you bust your ass each day or if you do the minimum necessary. You are also paid according to how long you’ve been there which is a double-sided sword. Once you have established yourself somewhere you don’t want to move because you finally have some seniority and you don’t want to have to start all over from the bottom. Also, if you have been there for 10 years and do a mediocre job but the second year teacher is doing a stellar job, you are the one who keeps your job in a budget crisis and the newbie is the one let go. Job security for tenure but not for job performance. Teachers who go the extra mile are only rewarded with more work as team leads for their grade and not given bonuses for their excellent attitudes and great ideas. As I said, intrinsic motivation can only get you so far. I see that in other jobs as well, only they have bonus structures for exceptional performance.

Second, you have parents. Where are they? Helicopters or absentees (also known as parental negative demandingness)? You don’t have a “normal” parent anymore. You have the parent who rushes in to the teacher when their child received a “C” grade demanding that their child is an “A” student and the teacher is an idiot for not recognizing this. Or you have the parent who works three jobs and is never around and cannot take the time to care about their child’s schooling. Or worse, you have the parent who has the time but doesn’t have the follow-through to do something about it. There are a great deal of parents out there who have little to do with their child’s education. They are not reinforcing values learned at school. They are not supervising and encouraging homework daily. They are not participating in the Parent Teacher Organizations. They are not spending their nights having family dinners (great research done about the effects on this). “It’s a serious concern, since statistics show that nearly one in five children aged 6-19 in the U.S. are overweight. That puts them at higher risk for many health problems later in life, including heart disease, high blood pressure, and diabetes – as well as emotional problems (source).”

Third, you have the students themselves. Students have not been set on a path to value education. They are trained to the major comprehensive assessment test given each year or so. They are told that schooling is about sitting quietly in your seat for 8 hours a day. They are given little freedom for self-discovery. However, they’re also easily influenced by the superficial trappings of this world and the instant gratification on a regular basis. They have a shorter attention span because their parents have allowed them play video games from an early age and they have never learned to utilize their own creativity. What ever happened to “go play outside!”? They have not been properly socialized because the opportunities their parents could have taken for instruction were given an easy out via the Nintendo DS at the dinner table or in the car or any other public place where a great lesson could have been learned on proper behavior. These children are not adequately prepared for the “real world” and are sorely behind when entering college. Not just in academics but with social skills. These are opportunities their parent could have taken to help them be productive members of society. Yet, even as the children age and reach a point of internal responsibility for their actions they are still unable to determine the correct behavior. They are disrespectful to others, including adults/teachers. They are lazy at times and can appear unmotivated.

Fourth, and finally, you have administration. The bureaucratic nightmare that is the administration within education is appalling (interesting article). Higher education is a whole other nightmare but at least the educators are given more freedom over curriculum and instruction. Administration visits the classroom maybe two times a year and tries to assess a teacher’s effectiveness on this limited observation. Instead of consulting with the educators themselves, they make decisions from the top-down, and expect the implementation to be accepted with no concerns voiced. They work out deals based on the bottom line and then realize that was probably a bad decision when it blows up in their face. They make curriculum decisions with little input from the faculty who would be utilizing the curriculum. They follow trends with little hesitation. They allow for inequitable pay and benefits and are completely afraid of the unions. The superintendent is selected by the school board which is voted into office by the citizens. However, this means that they are subject to the “two many cooks in the kitchen” and can make a decision for the county that might be good for one school but not another.

So, what is the solution?

Where do we go from here? What does it mean to put students first? I’ve been hearing all sides lately because the whole “merit pay” issue is up for debate here in Florida. Geoffrey Canada (Whatever It Takes, Waiting for Superman, Harlem Children’s Zone) stated that he pays one of his math teachers six figures because Geoffrey says he is worth it and he is afraid to lose him. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if public school education administration had the same ability? Wouldn’t it be great if they could reward those who are excellent instead of only rewarding based on length of service? Even if we kept everyone at the same incremental pay scale and added bonuses for work that goes above and beyond. I think that one of the main concerns it the achievement gap in this country and possible solutions that involve more than just the teacher.

My point comes back to the problem we have now with our ghetto schools because, let’s face it, those are the ones receiving national attention. The county has to make decisions that are applied across the board and with some schools that are “A” schools and some that are “F” schools we just cannot continue to operate in that way. There is little incentive for teachers to work in the ghetto schools because, for example, if you were paid the same whether you worked in an “A” school or an “F” school where would you work? You couldn’t get me to work in a school where the risk of safety is the first concern. Where students are fighting constantly, skipping school, disrespecting teachers, caring little about their education. The people choosing to work there have either grown up in that type of environment and feel comfortable or take the job because no one else wants them. Which is where KIPP comes in (and others like them). They have the authority (because they lack the union infringement) to demand more out of their students, and in turn, their teachers. The accountability is with a signed contract and they reward their teachers with exceptional pay for their service.

I’ve also heard some people argue that the KIPP model does not work everywhere. Sometimes there needs to be more inclusion (as with the HCZ) and maybe that is the solution? No matter what… it seems as though the solution involves money. Redistribution amongst faculty and staff or rewards and bonuses… it all comes down to how it is being spent, not necessarily an increase in revenue. My question to you is what do you think is the solution to all of this? I think that merit pay has its value but I also believe that caveats should be made for those students who refuse to learn. Just like how they can be kicked out of a KIPP school we should be able to have some recourse for those same students in the regular public school. Also, I think that merit pay solely based on test scores leaves little room for true discernment. What about the schools that consistently have high performing students? How would you grade the teacher who has children already at the top level? The grading for merit pay must take into account ALL situations involved in education. Again, what works for one county may not work for another and what works for one school may not work for another (another interesting article).

Thoughts?

Just for good measure… here are some interesting videos… if they won’t play here then please click over to YouTube and watch them. I think they’re worth it.

Instead I’m going to talk about realistic goals I’m setting for myself and ones that maybe you might be compelled to work on as well. Maybe these posts will speak to you, maybe you’ll just skim over and click on the doorknob one because evidently that’s the only real reason people are coming here. LOL.

So, my goals for this year are to live as happily and healthily as possible. I’m generally a happy person. I have always been a good eater. I watch my food choices and generally stay within the appropriate weight range for my size (if not a little below), but as for the exercise… well, I’m just dang lazy.

I’m setting up some Pilates classes I purchased on Groupon and though I cannot afford to keep them up each week (at $35 a session) I’m hoping they will jump-start me on the road to better health and I hope to share with you anything I find along the way that I think y’all could benefit from.

As for an update… well, I’m very active in my church. BEACH has been such a blessing. It’s nice to be back.

In other news I went skiing in Colorado. It was absolutely breathtakingly gorgeous. The immense expanse of the Rockies are something that you never really can grasp until you see them in person.

My friend, Kelly, arranged for a group of girls to go with her and stay in a timeshare. It was so much fun. Also, my cousin, Catie, was able to drive over for one night from Colorado Springs so I got to hug on her for a bit. I can’t believe it’d been over 4 years since I’d last seen her.

The above pic was taken when some of us went tubing the first day there. I think that I had more fun tubing than anything else we did while in CO… We had so much fun!

Of course, I was totally unprepared. I really thought “eh, it’s been over 10 years since I’ve been skiing but I used to be pretty good so I’m sure I’ll pick it right back up.” Yeah. Right.

I’m happy to say that I made it to the top of Vail mountain, all 11,250 feet of it… and then made it to the bottom (by myself) without breaking any bones. My poor friend, Trish (in this pic above), had a massive panic attack about 1/4 of the way down and ski patrol had to take her off in a snow mobile. CRAZY. Poor thing. I will confess that my shins hurt so bad when I got to the bottom I cried.

In conclusion, it’s a wonderful place but definitely not for beginners or those who think they know what they’re doing but really don’t. I would encourage everyone to visit Colorado… it’s amazing. We spent a week in Vail and I drove in snow (with some awesome skills I may add) and it was a great escape for me this January. I needed to get away. Hope that everyone had a wonderful holiday and a fantastic start to 2011!

Here’s to hoping that I’m able to lower my stress level and increase my fitness level over the next year while continuing to focus on healthy eating habits and an overall positive attitude.

God bless!

I hope that everyone is enjoying the holiday with friends and loved ones. I hope that you are able to watch the parade and some football and that you stuff yourself full of home-made wonderfulness. If you are stuck in a foreign country or somehow unable to have the traditional fare, well, I’m sorry. I wish that I could invite you all over so we could share in our Thanksgiving together!

Today, I am going to list some things that may seem trivial but are things that I am so very thankful for. I started this list a while ago and have been adding to it. I’m sure that I’ll continue to add to it and will have a longer one next year. I am constantly reminded how very blessed I am. I have family and friends that love me and an awesome church family. I never want to forget just how many blessings I have, even the silly ones.

So here goes (for now):

Family (of course)

Kitchen sprayer

Quilted Northern toilet paper

HVAC (even though things don’t always work out the way you’d like)

New LCD HDTV

Adult beverages (that really should be first on the list LOL)

Brita filters

Purdue OWL

Sonicare toothbrush

Massages

Pedicures (I can’t rave enough about this place)

Dancing

Boots (and especially Autumn when I get to wear said boots)

Kashi Heart to Heart

Document shredder

Books

Music

2004 Toyota Camry LE

Coffee

Amy’s Mexican Casserole

Church

Friends

Carmex

Ann Taylor and LOFT (for clothes that actually fit me)

Organic Milk

Sliders Seafood Grille

Ceramic Flat Iron

Neutrogena body oil

The ocean

Things that make me laugh out loud

CBS Sunday Morning

NPR (especially on the way to and from work)

Fiber One Bars

and Coca-Cola Classic

In closing I’d like to share Linus’ Thanksgiving prayer from “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving”… may you remember the humble roots of this holiday tradition and how blessed we truly are!

Did you know that you could save roughly $750 a year just by eliminating soda products from your diet? Did you know that over 70% of our food contains a corn ingredient (not just High Fructose Corn Syrup)? You can make a difference. Food & Water Watch shows you just what is going on and how to take action.

I know that I have a lot of soapbox issues but I feel like if I don’t say something, who will? If we all just leave this job up to other people then no one does anything. I am very proud of my country. I love America. I cry when I hear the national anthem. I want this country to be proud of itself. I want our children to be safe and healthy and happy. Our food process has radically changed in the last 50 years and we need to show these giant corporations how we feel about it!

If you still haven’t been swayed… check out Kevin’s Law. “Kevin’s Law is named in memory of 2 1/2 -year-old Kevin Kowalcyk, who died so tragically in 2001 after eating a hamburger contaminated with E. coli O157:H7. Kevin’s untimely death was agonizing and brutal. No child, no person should experience the pain that Kevin did, and no family should have to bear witness to a loved one suffering in the way that Kevin did.”

I am not going to continue to talk about this depressing subject. I will only urge you do DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. The most important change you can make today besides quit eating fast food, is purchase organic milk and organic meat. Even if you only do these two things you will make a difference for yourself, your family, and the environment. Even if nothing else.

If you have the means to go farther you should consider joining a local farm co-op and get some local fresh fruits and veggies once a week. Please don’t continue to let this be the way we take care of ourselves. Make healthy choices. In closing, I want to leave you with Woody Guthrie singing This Land Is Your Land. It is a powerful song written in 1956 and still resonates with us today. Also, I’m including a quote about the late Woody Guthrie that I think sums up my thoughts exactly.

“Woody is just Woody. Thousands of people do not know he has any other name. He is just a voice and a guitar. He sings the songs of a people and I suspect that he is, in a way, that people. Harsh voiced and nasal, his guitar hanging like a tire iron on a rusty rim, there is nothing sweet about Woody, and there is nothing sweet about the songs he sings. But there is something more important for those who still listen. There is the will of a people to endure and fight against oppression. I think we call this the American spirit.”

-John Steinbeck

This Land Is Your Land

This land is your land This land is my land
From California to the New York island;
From the red wood forest to the Gulf Stream waters
This land was made for you and Me.

As I was walking that ribbon of highway,
I saw above me that endless skyway:
I saw below me that golden valley:
This land was made for you and me.

I’ve roamed and rambled and I followed my footsteps
To the sparkling sands of her diamond deserts;
And all around me a voice was sounding:
This land was made for you and me.

When the sun came shining, and I was strolling,
And the wheat fields waving and the dust clouds rolling,
As the fog was lifting a voice was chanting:
This land was made for you and me.

As I went walking I saw a sign there
And on the sign it said “No Trespassing.”
But on the other side it didn’t say nothing,
That side was made for you and me.

In the shadow of the steeple I saw my people,
By the relief office I seen my people;
As they stood there hungry, I stood there asking
Is this land made for you and me?

Nobody living can ever stop me,
As I go walking that freedom highway;
Nobody living can ever make me turn back
This land was made for you and me.

Over the years I have consistently seen errors in spelling and grammar and I always say something, even when I shouldn’t. I can’t help it. I know that I am not perfect and we all take liberties now and then but one thing that will always bother me – and probably because I’m from the south – is when people spell you all as ya’ll instead of y’all (check out this website for more apostrophe errors).

Okay, I realize this isn’t that big of a deal to some people. But, to me, it’s like spelling you’re as your. It’s a pet peeve and an annoying one at that. I can’t help but double check my work and go back and correct mistakes I find in my own writing and it bothers the heck out of me that people don’t do that in their own work. It’s like they just don’t care. This speaks more to their personality than anything and definitely not in a good way. For me, when I’m making a mistake I want to know. I want to change. I want to constantly improve.

I mean, don’t get me wrong… I understand that we all make mistakes and most are unintentional. I also understand that if we’re never shown any different, then we may not know the correct way to spell, speak, or even behave for that matter. Once you are exposed to the correct form and usage, it is your responsibility to adapt as necessary. Once someone points out that it’s you’re (you are) and not your (as in something you have). It shouldn’t be a mistake made any further.

This same concept is applied to y’all. It’s a contraction. We learned in grade school that the apostrophe takes the place of the missing letters. Like in the word don’t, it is a shortened form of do and then not where the words are combined and the o in not is replaced by an apostrophe. You’re is a shortened form of you are where the words are combined and the a in are is replaced by an apostrophe. Therefore, y’all is a shortened form of you all where the words are combined and the ou is replaced by an apostrophe. If it were ya’ll then the apostrophe is in the wrong place and the original words would have to have been something else. Maybe yahoo fall? Or yarn ball? or yak call?

There are currently four generally recognized properties that “y’all” follows:

1. A replacement for the plural of you.
   • Example: “Y’all can use the internet at the same time.”
2. An associative plural, including individuals associated but not present with the singular addressee.
   • Example: “Y’all can come over at around 10:30,” Chris says. - Chris explains to John that John and John’s friends, who are not present at the time, can come over at around 10:30. Chris is speaking to John, but treats John as a representative for others.
3. An institutional plural addressed to one person representing a group.
   • Example: “Y’all sell the best candies, Mrs. Johnson.” - Y’all is received by Mrs. Johnson who is the representative of a small candy business.
4. A form used in direct address in certain contexts (e.g., partings, greetings, invitations, and vocatives)
   • Example: “Hey, y’all!”- A greeting that addresses a multitude of people without referencing a singular identity comprising that multitude

Rather than say you-all, you-uns, you lot, or you guys… y’all may be construed as a single element requiring only one morpheme. You all arose as a means of distinguishing the second-person plural from the second-person singular, very much like vosotros (you others), the Spanish second-person plural, the latter having arisen when vos (originally the second-person plural) became the prevailing polite second-person singular term.

Now that you know… you don’t have to make the mistake anymore. Please spread the word. When you notice someone mis-using y’all, please correct them. You can blame it on me. I’m fine with that. Also, please know that slang is something different altogether. When we write funny words like “interwebs” or “for reals” or “dizam” we are doing so to place emphasis on the hilarity and not because we don’t know better. Y’all is an actual word and it deserves to be written correctly. For more fun in regards to the subject of grammar, I highly recommend Eats, Shoots & Leaves. GREAT BOOK!

Okay, I’m off my soap-box (one of many I have, I know). Back to your regularly scheduled programming. LOL. I hope that Y’ALL have a wonderful weekend!

Reference: Ching, Marvin K. L. (2001) Plural You/Y’all Variation by a Court Judge: Situational Use. American Speech – Volume 76, Number 2, pp. 115-127. Duke University Press.

This past weekend I went to the theater to see Waiting for “Superman,” and my feeling is that this movie should be mandatory watching for ALL Americans. Whether or not you agree with what Davis Guggenheim suggests in the film, it is important that we get the conversation started, and for that I am grateful.

SYNOPSIS (provided by Paramount Pictures)

For a nation that proudly declared it would leave no child behind, America continues to do so at alarming rates. Despite increased spending and politicians promises, our buckling public-education system, once the best in the world, routinely forsakes the education of millions of children.

Filmmaker Davis Guggenheim reminds us that education statistics have names: Anthony, Francisco, Bianca, Daisy, and Emily, whose stories make up the engrossing foundation of Waiting for “Superman”. As he follows a handful of promising kids through a system that inhibits, rather than encourages, academic growth, Guggenheim undertakes an exhaustive review of public education, surveying drop-out factories and academic sinkholes, methodically dissecting the system and its seemingly intractable problems.

However, embracing the belief that good teachers make good schools, and ultimately questioning the role of unions in maintaining the status quo, Guggenheim offers hope by exploring innovative approaches taken by education reformers and charter schools that have—in reshaping the culture—refused to leave their students behind.

Here, Davis Guggenheim talks about why he made the film:

And here is a Public Service Announcement that was made to promote the film:

Frederick Hess’s recent National Affairs essay, “Does School Choice ‘Work’?“ should be read by everyone seeing the movie. Not because it is a counter-argument to the movie’s premise, but because it brings to light some of the issues regarding school choice and the charter school movement. Not every charter school is exceeding. However, many ARE, so something must be happening, right?

As Ross Douthat states so perfectly, in his New York Times op-ed article, “Maybe charter schools, merit pay and vouchers won’t instantly turn every American child into a test-acing dynamo. But if they “only” create a more cost-effective system that makes parents and students happier with their schools — well, that would be no small feat, and well worth fighting for.”

I guess that’s all a part of being human, am I right? We were given the opportunity to question and we should question everything. I firmly believe that. I mean who would want a bunch of drones worshiping you? They wouldn’t be doing so of their own free will but rather because you created them for that purpose.

Bear with me here as I go off on a little tangent today… I promise that I try not to weigh y’all down too heavily with my thoughts but today I need to get them off my chest.

I believe that we are given the ability with our amazing brain to come up with our own conclusions. To investigate and question the status quo. To hear the voice calling and respond. I can completely understand how with all the searching that we can miss the voice calling. Some will never hear it.

Of course, to some people reading this they’ll think of my rambling thoughts and hearing a voice as a sign that I’m a crazy person. In fact, I had a similar conversation with someone recently about this very subject and he just couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that there could be a divine creator and yet still allow such an imperfect world. “What is the point?” he said.

That’s a very good question. My response is, what is the point otherwise? Why would we, as animals, become so superior intellectually through evolution if there wasn’t some greater purpose? Why do we not behave as animals and remain selfish? Why is there something inside (most of us) that gives us empathy that is lacking in other species?

Of course, I have questions…

Like why am I only attracted to non-believers? Why can’t I find a person who feels as I do about eternal life? Why do the people I meet who do believe as I do, not have the chemistry needed for long-term success? I feel there is this strange dichotomy in my relationships. Like I need to make a choice. Is it important for me to share a faith with someone and have that side of me fully developed or is it more important that the day to day chemistry and interests are fully represented? Since I cannot answer my own question I will continue to keep looking, I guess.

I recently reconnected with an ex and he said, as does most everyone, “I can’t believe you haven’t married and especially haven’t had any kids. You deserve a great guy with a huge heart. I hope you find him some day.” It’s almost encouraging. Almost. Because I feel the same way. I can’t believe I haven’t found someone that I have that connection with and that we mutually desire a life together. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve met people that I thought we were right and they thought we were wrong and vice versa.

So, here I am, contemplating my life and my purpose, once again. What do I want? What is keeping me from what I want? Where do I go from here?

Recently I reconnected with someone I had dated briefly 6 years ago. We really picked up right where we left off. Great chemistry. Same tastes in music, movies, food, weather, reading, you name it. And he’s an atheist. It’s like some evil force is rubbing it in my face that in order for me to maintain my relationship with my creator I must forgo the relationships with men here on this Earth. I don’t believe that is God’s plan for me. I don’t believe that he wants me to live my life alone but I don’t understand why these people keep crossing  my path.

I guess it serves its purpose. It draws me closer to Him. It reminds me of how important that relationship is in my life and to what lengths I will go to maintain the relationship. As much as I enjoy the company of these gentleman they pale in comparison to the satisfaction I gain from my relationship with Christ. Now, if only I could combine the two… I guess my only option is to continue praying about it. Asking for guidance. Living my life to the best of my ability. Showing God’s love as he has requested (Parable of the Good Samaritan).

Anyway, enough rambling. Hope that y’all have a wonderful weekend and are enjoying the beautiful weather of autumn! I’m trying to enjoy it as much as I can. Also, I’m going to see the new movie (documentary) Waiting for Superman, which should be quite interesting. As you may or may not know, I finished up teacher’s certification and am currently taking a graduate course in Primary Education and find the subject quite fascinating. I’m also a member of the Children’s Movement here in Florida and I encourage everyone I know to get involved in their own local community to help reform our education system. We need to do something besides sitting back and watching us become less competitive globally. TAKE ACTION PEOPLE!

- MissCaron

Also, here is a good presentation on why I believe what I believe and why I consider myself a Methodist.

Do all the good you can,
By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can,
In all the places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as you ever can...

- John Wesley

So, I have yet another sinus infection.

I’m so over this getting sick crap. Or this let’s throw out my back while I’m in the middle of moving crap. But, I digress. My doc is trying out a few new allergy meds to see if we can keep this from happening. The post-nasal drip is what gets me every time and nothing I take seems to even touch it… not even Benadryl. All that stuff does is dry my sinuses out and make me sleepy and yet I still have the dripping down the back of the throat. Constant dripping…

Yum. I know, I know… such an awesome subject to talk about.

Let’s move on, shall we?

How about the fact that I took NyQuil last night for the first time in ages and instead of the “nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, fever, best sleep you ever got with a cold medicine” I had the “lets wake up every few hours for no obvious reason and have really screwed up dreams cold medicine”.

Ever had that one?

NyQuil you lie. You do not make me feel better. Hopefully this Z-Pak will make me feel better. I think that even though I’ve slept most of today I’ll probably go to bed here soon.

It’s super fun feeling like crap.

So, instead of talking about that… let’s analyze my crazy dreams…

I’m pretty sure that they were all separate dreams but to me it seemed like one big long one and when I tell the story it’s much more fun as a big long one so here goes:

I’m at a resort with my family. We’re in some sort of roof-top suite thing with a pool, and no guard-rail over the edge to the street below. Awesome. So, we’re hanging out by the pool and I’m all pissed because I don’t have a bathing suit. Then some random lady and her child come in and start swimming in our pool and she’s letting the daughter wander all around the deck with no worry that she’ll get too close to the edge and fall off the roof nor is she worried that this little toddler can’t swim well and could easily fall in the pool if she’s not standing right there and I’m the ONLY one who seems to a) care that this stranger is in our suite or b) about the safety of the child. Everyone is just carrying on with their conversations and crap and I’m getting silently more and more pissed. Even more awesome.

Cut to me driving some sort of get away vehicle to somewhere and my sister, Ashley, is in the passenger seat. I think this vehicle is a truck. I’m not sure. But there is a bunch of crap at my feet that’s making it impossible for me to control the pedals. I keep asking her to grab the blanket and move it, grab this shirt that’s wound around the pedal, grab this stuffed animal that’s down there, and then there’s another blanket or pillow or something and I’m just super pissed that I can’t seem to get it all out of the way and more keeps appearing and I have basically no real control over the vehicle but I’m trying to keep me and my sister safe as we’re speeding down the road. Great.

Cut to a kitchen scene where I’m talking to someone about how I have too much to do and no one ever helps me. Taking care of the kids is a full time job, I tell them, and I can’t do it all and everything else. Then I hear crying and go over to an empty bassinet. The person is still trying to talk to me and is telling me that I’m imagining things and that it can’t be as overwhelming as I think. Meanwhile I’ve reached into the empty bassinet and pulled out an imaginary baby (there is no baby in my arms) and for some reason I start breast-feeding said imaginary baby and this person is saying to me about how there is no baby and I’m crazy and I should get help and I’m yelling back about how overwhelmed I am and they just don’t understand but I look down and see that there is no baby there but for some reason my brain thinks there is… or something.

Okay, that’s pretty much all I remember.

WTF?

Am I going crazy?

I certainly was in that last dream for sure. I think that a lot of my dream sequence was me feeling out of control. I do feel like that a lot. I have a thing with always wanting things to go just so and when they don’t I feel very uncomfortable. I think that lately I’ve also been feeling like things that I want to happen aren’t happening and I’m trying really hard to be patient but it’s hella difficult. Maybe my dreams are a way of me dealing with all those issues while I’m sleeping?

SO WEIRD!

Thoughts?

P.S. I just did a bit of research and the internet is telling me that I’m frustrated because I don’t have a family of my own (very true) and that the pool and some other things have to do with money and my fears of being financially secure (also very true). The constant struggle in my dreams, like the stuff beneath the seat causing me to not have control over the car is how I feel in my own life… which, I already pretty much knew. I know that I want things to be a lot different than they are but I do feel content. I mean, at least I think I do. I like my new place. I feel very happy here. I’m trying hard to “bloom where planted” and not constantly wanting things to be what I think they should be but instead be happy with what I have. It’s hard. Maybe that’s what all those dreams were about? Maybe the NyQuil just allowed me to go into a deeper REM state and my anxieties were dealt with through my dreams last night?

Oh well. Hope y’all are having a great week so far! Many of y’all have kids back in school or are back in school yourself. It’s that time of the year for sure. I’ve decided to only take one class this term though I originally thought I’d take two. The class is called Primary Education. It is all about the theories and practices revolving around K-3rd grade really. Should be quite interesting. I’ve already learned a bunch and have only had one class! It might be a lot of work for this semester and I don’t know if I really want a LOT of work. I just like a challenge and I love learning so I thought I’d take advantage of the class being that it’s provided by the University at no cost.

Wish me luck!